First of all, let me apologize for being a terribly fickle blogger. The past couple of months with this blog have been a roller coaster ride. I had planned to go completely private, but after a few weeks I realized how much I love having a dialogue with other Christian women (moms or otherwise). So, here I am. I could have just figured this out several weeks ago, but I needed some time to come to terms with a few things about myself.
I began to realize that I was letting all of the wrong things define me. My identity was wrapped up in cloth diapering, natural parenting, organic eating and all around tree-hugging. Those are all wonderful and important things, but they were consuming me so much that I forgot about grace. I was very selective about what I wrote because I didn't want anyone to think that I wasn't this perfect attachment parenting crunchy mama who shunned all things mainstream and conventional. I knew something had to change the day I found myself nearly in tears over not driving across town to buy organic apples. I realized that I needed to back off. I needed to focus on feeding my family whole foods and be okay with not always being able to afford the high dollar organic versions. I needed to not be ashamed that sometimes my son fusses -even cries occasionally - for a couple of minutes before he falls asleep at nap time. I needed to stop freaking out about putting my baby in disposable diapers for part of our vacation. Above all, I needed to remember that God knows my heart, and He knows that I am doing the best I can with what I have. When I get to Heaven, the Almighty is not going to be concerned with whether or not everything I ate was organic or how I diapered my babies or if I used very non-Earth friendly hair dye. All that will matter is that I lived for Him and shared His love with others. That is what I want my life to be about. That is what I want to define me.
It is so easy to be sucked in to the patterns of the world (yes, even all that great AP and natural living stuff can be very worldly if we lose sight of the things that truly matter). My hope is that I can be a light for Christ in this place, and I don't want anything to block that out. So that is where I am now. Obviously I will still blog about diapers and food and all those things I enjoy, but they will not define me. And you'd better believe that I will have a lot to say about the One who does.
- Melissa
- Daughter of the King. Wife to Rob. Mommy to Elijah and Grace. Lover of words. Hair dye enthusiast. Coffee snob. Striving for simplicity. Finding my identity in Christ.
5 comments:
Amen! So well said. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed trying to do it all, but that is not the most important thing. What matters is Who I live for, and I want Him to say well done someday.
Thanks for sharing. I needed this reminder.
I really liked this post. It's hard wanting to be Super Mom, I bet all first time Moms feel that way. I know I do. I would love to buy organic, cloth diaper, and get all the cleaning and laundry done in one day. But I've learned that it's not always possible, and that I just need to sit back and relax every once and a while. I do the best I can with what God gives me. And hope that's good enough for my son and husband.
Excellent post. :) I have to admit, I don't care which apples I eat as long as they are sweet and juicy. And as great as cloth diapering sounds, I don't think I could handle the laundry or the scraping of poo. hehe. I also confess that sometimes I just look at my son cry for a moment or two before doing something because I'm so tired, and in a weird way he is cute when he cries. I think the most important thing for me is to make sure he always knows I love him and I am there for him - and to raise him to be holy - a man after God's heart. That is most important!
AMEN to that, mama! (I'm finally making it back over - did you see that my internet day didn't really turn out to be an internet day yesterday? LOL)
I can identify so much with everything that you wrote. I've made an idol of AP stuff before, as well as with blogging, and it eats you up. It's totally true that holding onto this world is trying to hold fast to something rapidly being pulled away from us. God is so much more filling. Can't wait to see all the new stuff that you have to post here!
P.S. Lovin' the design! It reminds me of your house (not that I've seen it, but your Asian style!).
Your honesty is refreshing. It is so hard to identify and then tear down the idols we build in our lives! If it is not AP, it's being a SAHM, or even "training" our children. The hardest idols to find in our lives are the ones that are "good" for us to do, but not good for us to worship.
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